Three Days in Gothenburg

Day 1

Start your visit just outside the city in the town of Kungälv. While your partner shops for a used car, enjoy lunch at the local Pizza and Kebab restaurant, where you'll get to practice your sign language and remedial Swedish, because the owners speak no English!

Be sure to sit next to a long table of high school boys, who will delight you with a rousing version of "Ja må hon leva!"aka the Swedish birthday song. If you're brave enough to speak to them, they will explain to you (in polite and flawless English) that yes, it is a school day today, and no, they did not like what the cafeteria was serving for lunch.

Next, drive to an industrial area of town so your partner can look at another used car. Drink lots of very strong coffee at a cafeteria frequented primarily by workers at the nearby paint factory. Since there is no wifi, be sure to bring your colored pencils and coloring books to entertain yourself and remain calm until your partner is finished.

For your next stop, drive just south of the city to the nearby town of Mölndal. While your partner attempts to look at a third used car, amuse yourself in a local planned community. Notice the similar style and color scheme of the houses, and take your children to play at the small playground.

For accommodations, try the Gothenburg City Hotel, which may or may not be a hostel! You'll enjoy the tiniest hotel room possible, private bathroom, a stylish and kid-friendly lounge (which you can use as your living space, since your room doesn't have any), and a delicious breakfast buffet. Bring your own hand soap, or be prepared to use the complimentary shower gel for all of your washing needs.

Panoramic shot of tiny hotel room.

Stylish lounge. Exactly one of the books is in English.

Step outside the hotel and spend the afternoon poking into the many shops in the city center. Along the small winding streets, you'll find dozens of boutiques and cafes. Stop in at Jerkstrands Konditori Saluhallen to ogle the assorted cakes and pastries and treat your children to a glass of warm choklad.

Putting the "goth" in Gothenburg.

Look around! You're in Europe, children!

Continue your stroll and stop into the Domkrykan Göteborg. Completed in 1815, the current building is the third cathedral built on this spot, as the previous two both burned down. The original cathedral dates back to 1633, and a small church stood on the same site for at least a decade before that.

Sea-life themed statue, just outside the Dome Church.

Try dinner at El Toro Bravo for a feast of Spanish tapas. End your night by signing into Netflix on the flatscreen TV in your tiny hotel room. If you're feeling adventurous, try a dancehall-style dance class at Twisted Feet Dance Academy or check out the local hip hop dance scene at Lou Lou. Or both.

Day 2

If you have young children in your party and it's too cold to spend the day outdoors, check out the Universeum. Start your visit to this seven-story science museum by taking the glass funicular up to the top level, where you'll find aquatic exhibits featuring local fish and wildlife.

I found the Sign of the Beaver!

Continue down the the next level, the aquarium, where you can gaze at a wall-sized kelp forest exhibit, walk through a glass tunnel with sharks swimming overhead, and try to refrain from petting the tank full of stingrays.

Next, get blasted by the tropical heat of the rainforest level. If you're lucky, the sloths on exhibit will be active. (Tip: You are not very likely to be lucky.)

Left: Sloth photo. Middle: Sloth fan. Right: Sloth sleeping.

The kids in your group will especially enjoy the interactive exhibits on space (try out a space toilet! or space bed!) and health (how long can you hang? how high can you jump?). They'll also love spending some time in the museum's creative space, which boasts an area of giant foam blocks for building.

Trying to beat her personal best.

Weather permitting, the kids will also enjoy the outdoor space, which includes a play area and giant dinosaur.

Spend your remaining time and energy this afternoon cruising around the city center. If a sudden storm erupts, duck into Nordstan Shopping Center for an afternoon fika and a visit to the most stylish furniture shop on earth.

For dinner, you might try a local Japanese restaurant, but be sure to carry enough cash to cover the cost of the meal, in the event that your credit card is mysteriously declined.

End your day with candy bars purchased with your miraculously functional credit card in the hotel lobby. If you can sneak away after the children are in bed, you might take in a concert by legendary rapper KRS-One.

Day 3

On your last day in town, visit the beautiful Slottskogen, a massive city park which used to be a forest belonging to the local fortress. You won't have time to take in all it has to offer today, so let the children lead the way to the enormous play area.

Hedge maze!

Playing Jonah.

While there, enjoy some people watching. Among the visitors to the park you'll notice many groups of schoolchildren on field trips (the preschoolers recognizable not only by their size but by their matching neon safety vests). You may see women engaged in a boot-camp style exercise class, a lone man attracting attention with his Tai Chi routine, and more stay-at-home dads with infants than you can imagine!

Sisters.

Balance Fail.

For lunch, stop at Egg and Milk for a Swedish take on a classic 1950s American diner. The seating, the fluffy pancakes, and the 50s music won't disappoint. You may be surprised to find that instead of maple syrup, you are offered Hershey's syrup to pour on your flapjacks! You've never tasted anything as American as caramel syrup on chocolate chip pancakes.

As you drive out of the city, start dreaming about your next visit to Sweden's second-largest city, Gothenburg!